Journals from the Jungle II: That is real life, right there in front of you.

On exiting the matrix

The following are unedited journal excerpts—a series of stories from my recent travels. XOR

DAY SIX CONTINUED

There is literally nothing left to say, but here I am nevertheless, to write, to remember.

Gliding through the sea. Sitting on the board, bobbing in the sunset. The force and power, and softness too. The calm and fury. The way it all looks, and how that makes me feel.

It’s just all of it. It’s all of it. All of this.

I’m also surprised by and proud of my strength out there. It is certainly scary at times, but all of this is progress, and the positive experiences in those waves, they’re showing me a new (or expanded) side of myself. They’re showing me how well I can go into hard things. How I can be brave. How I can be afraid and do it anyway. How I can fall, and go back out, again and again.

I love it.

I will stay.

Mañana.

DAY SEVEN

Walking around with a grin on my face and in my chest. Didn’t really sleep last night—too worked up, excitement in my veins from surfing. Feeling giddy and fluttery.

It feels important to feel this, and that it’s positive, and to compare it to the other “anxiety.” Is it just the same sensation perceived differently? That’s what they say …