Risk taking, identity & inner truth, creation as destruction, energy & echoing

web weaving, idea stringing, consciousness streaming, field notes from writing and living lately

“True risk taking is about identity and inner truth.”¹

"Her constant reaching for the edge feels like a creative act (not destructive) and an existential push to break to another level; maybe to find the place in herself to answer the question ‘who am I really?’”

“You’re willing to risk the dissolution of identities and self as subject, to integrate at increasing breadth and depths with the energy that is greater than any one of us. You experiment with your self, or identities, as object, able to freely transform. The radical act of being and becoming change.”²

2014

With my skin and my mind and my anxious young heart, I strain to hear from it about my life. Will I find my way and who I will be? I sense existence—a current of aliveness in the vastness that surrounds me and expands beyond everything. I look through it to the far-off hills that enclose our valley, blocking the horizon and yearn I beyond them, the breeze swelling behind me.

It knows, I know, my future self—the one who will see me all the way through. I whisper into it, into what’s to come. I listen into it for something certain. Listening into it is listening into me too; it’s a sort of resonance, a tuning, the hum—between me, now, everything else, yesterday, tomorrow—between what is and was and what is not yet. Into this, I place myself. In this, I believe.³

Orting, WA

“... we inhabit endlessly, ceaselessly, interminably … a realm in which ‘there is no meaning yet’ but in which meaning is in the interminable process of becoming.”⁴

“Affect is always within the opening of the body to uncertainty (+discontinuity).”⁵

“Enjoy this period of time, before you know what will happen.”

“Are you asking yourself new questions? Then you’re growing, keep going.”

retreat, 2016